Waving hello simply to be friendly

Growing up in the country in the post-World War II era, I always noticed that people waved at each other or honked their horns as they met or drove by. I particularly remember a World War II veteran neighbor who had been in the Marine Air Wing. I later learned he had been relieving the guard on Ford Island, an islet in the center of Pearl Harbor, Oahu, in the Hawaiian Islands just before 8 a.m. when the Japanese attacked, and also had served from Guadalcanal to Tinian (where he was seriously wounded). He lived on a farm nearby. When I rode in the truck with my father or one of his drivers and we would meet the man in his truck, I’d roll the window down, stick my arm out and wave it around as if it were an airplane. He’d stick his arm out the window and fly back at me.

I was 8 or 9 years old at the time. When I interviewed him about the Pearl Harbor attack years later, he asked me if I remembered when we flew our arms out the window like airplanes. Of course I did. He was one of my favorite people to wave at back then. Waving at each other was just a greeting to friends and neighbors sort of like the “Have a good day” greeting of today. My father would usually just lift his finger or hand from the steering wheel for his subtle wave. But he always waved.

The only person I remember who didn’t wave was a man who wasn’t exactly well thought of by some in the community. I wasn’t sure why. It just seemed that he thought he was a bit better than other folks. When he’d drive by our house, he never waved or even looked at us. Our dog never chased other cars or trucks, but when he would see the man’s pickup truck turn the corner a few yards north and head past the house, Skipper would be at the edge of the road waiting. By the time the man got there, he (the dog) would meet him and run alongside and bark furiously at the pickup. We didn’t think the man had ever been around Skipper and never figured out why the man was the only one who was ever chased along the road in front of our house.

Remembering those days awhile back and what a friendly gesture it was just to say hello with a wave, I started waving at people passing our house or waving at anybody when it was feasible, as we used to do where I was growing up in Southern and Eastern Illinois. It was interesting from the outset to see the people’s reactions or lack of one. Some people wouldn’t look at me and never waved, and I was reminded of people I’ve seen walking down the streets in cities and town around the country who just walk and stare straight ahead, not making eye contact, and never speaking or waving; others would wave to me and drive or walk on.

It’s now gotten to the point where some people even wave at me before I wave at them. But the instance that really made me smile was when I saw a friend walking down the sidewalk in Urbana recently. I honked, smiled, and waved to her. She smiled, threw up her hand, and waved back. I drove on and she walked on. I saw her a few days later, and she told me that after I’d passed by, six cars passing her on both sides of the street, honked and waved to her.

“Did you know them?” I asked.

“No,” she said, “I didn’t know any of them except you.”

Not long afterward, I was at the mailbox in front of the house when I looked around at the passing car to wave when the man honked and waved to me. I smiled as I waved. That hadn’t happened before. The waving to one another is such a minor but friendly gesture, but one that connects us. Try it sometime. It’s much better than seeing a middle finger, a knife or gun in the hand of a passerby or a person in the car next to you, waving at you in anger.

To me, waving just shows friendliness to one another at a time when we seem to be a divided society where many people are not friendly with others whom they don’t know or whom they don’t want to know.

So wave and do have a good day.